For the love of Camelot
by reefyankee
Summary: My first fic inspired by the final episode, that just killed me. English is not my mother tongue so I'm sorry for grammar/spelling mistakes. :) Kilgharrah took off, leaving the young warlock alone on the shore. Alone with his grief, alone with his failure, and his remorse. Merlin stood there, motionless, staring blankly at the lake of Avalon. No slash
1. Chapter 1

Kilgharrah took off, leaving the young warlock alone on the shore. Alone with his grief, alone with his failure, and his remorse. Merlin stood there, motionless, staring blankly at the lake of Avalon. His heart was pounding hard against his chest, his hands were trembling feverishly. He forced himself to stop thinking, thinking was too painful. The paths where his thoughts were taking him didn't matter, in the end they were all leading to something too unbearable. Even breathing was too hard, the weight of guilt crushed his chest, encumbered his lungs.

Despite his efforts, the same thoughts were turning over and over in his mind. He had failed, he was there, alive, while the person embodying his destiny and purpose in life was resting on the ground.

Arthur would not breath anymore, he would not throw random objects at him, would not call him an idiot, would not drag him to hunt...He would not make him so proud anymore by acting as the great king he was suppose to be, the great king he ceased to be too soon and he left too soon because of him, him and his inability to make decisions, his pretention to think he could change people and because of his fear of confessing his secret, his secret kept for so long that in the end he barely could have enjoyed the fact that Arthur would maybe accept him, that in the end he would forgive him his lies.

« I want you to always be you »

Those words were as unexpected as they were heart warming. Arthur didn't hate him, he still hated magic but he loved him enough to start forgiving him. There were so much he wanted to tell him, so much…But now everything was over…

Long after the shape of the great dragon has disappeared in the distance, long after it started to rain, even long after the sun has risen, the young wizard had not moved.

It was as if the world was frozen, as if nothing could make any sense and would not make any sense anymore. Everything seemed absurd, from the warmth of the first ray of sun to the drops of rain that dripped down his face. The birds awakening, the wind ruffling his hair, the light sound from the water…He could not feel anything; he had no awareness of the world around him. Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing was stronger than the flow of his thoughts that did not stop, who turned and turned and were like thousands of dagger piercing his skull. Every single thought was too painful. Every single memory was aching.

"Thank you" Arthur's last words were still echoing painfully. He didn't deserve them, did he? Right now he was not thinking so.

And he stood there soaked to the bone, his eyes reddened after having cried his heart out for hours. Stifled by despair, he refused to imagine the future, a future without Arthur, a meaningless future, a future where he should return to Camelot, and say to the queen that Camelot was deprived of its king by his fault, that her husband would not return. He failed his destiny and Gwen would have to govern alone. He would have to wake up day after day, each time less alive than before. Because there was no way he could survive _this_. _This _was too much.The remorse overwhelmed him a little more each second. How many people has he failed to protect? How many were dead because of his mistakes? How much was sacrificed to allow him to change fate, how many times was he warned and yet ... yet in the end he failed and now…now he didn't have anything to make him go on.

Shaking with sobs, he laid his eyes on the body at his feet for the first time in hours. Another wave of remorse took him by the throat.

He bent down slowly, put one knee on the ground and lifted the head of his king on his lap.

"Arthur" he whispered "I'm so sorry."

His eyes set upon the boat still ready to go, waiting for them. After a few seconds, without thinking of what he was doing, he put one of Arthur's arm around his own shoulders and he began to lift the body. Using all his strength, he dragged him more than he was lifting him. The chain mail, the fact that they were both soaked by the rain, and the lack of sleep were making of that short distance an ordeal.

"Its gonna be ok" he murmured in a faint but determined voice.

He stopped short of breath, and began to put his king on the boat.

"Do you hear me? Its gonna be ok "


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin landed on the isle of the blessed. He pushed the boat a bit more forward on the shore, had a last look at Arthur's lifeless body and then walked along the beach. Standing tall and straight he shouted in a mighty voice "I seek an audience with the Sidhe elders!"

Powerful words of magic escaped his lips and his eyes flashed gold. For a moment, everything fell silent. Then little sparkles of light started to appear in front of him. The blue creatures that resembled fairies were soon flying all around the shore.

"How dare you summoning us?" some of them shouted, "You have no right to do so."

"I have every right." He assured "I am a creature of the old religion as you are"

"Emrys" whispered one of them, before coming at the front of the group to face the sorcerer. He seemed to be the oldest one, perhaps their leader.

"Why did you come" Despite his efforts he didn't sound surprise, he perfectly knew why Emrys was coming before them.

"I came here to take back the life of Arthur Pendragon" said Merlin, in a so determined voice that himself was surprise about it. He didn't suspect that he still had so much strength.

"His time has come. There is nothing you can do" the Sidhe simply stated.

There is no way he was going to accept this. "I know you have the power to revive him"

"We won't do such a thing. We can't go against the very fabric of the world just because you ask to."

Merlin suddenly felt a wave of rage growing within him. Wasn't he the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth? Wasn't it that, that everyone kept on telling him? Maybe it was time that he proved them right.

"I am Emrys, and you will do as I command!" he roared, and the Sidhe flied a few steps back.

"And what will you do if we refuse?" tried the old one.

"I will destroy you."

Now, even Merlin couldn't recognize his own voice. He never sounded so ruthless and certain. As the answer escaped his lips so quickly, he realised there was no doubts within him, he felt he could do it if they forced him to.

"How dare you threatening us! How dare you abuse your power like this!" shouted the same fairy in anger.

The rage and despair took over, and all of a sudden the earth started to shake violently, the peaceful water of the lake was raging on the coast, the sky, once clear of any clouds, darkened until it was pitch black, and the thunder exploded all across the plain. Merlin raised a hand in front of him, and closed it into a tight fist, without breaking eye contact with the old Sidhe. This one suddenly grabbed his own throat, fighting to breath. He was horrified by what the warlock was doing. Merlin didn't stop until the Sidhe was on the ground, suffocating. His hand came down slowly by his side. The Sidhe was coughing, breathless.

"Very well." he said in a broken voice. "What do you offer in exchange of his life?"

"I'll let you live."

This bargain made all the Sidhe burst in anger, "Why do you protect the man ruling a kingdom that swore to kill every magic in this world?!" shouted one, before another continued.

"You betrayed your kind, you had the chance to change things before, but now the Disir have spoken, the…"

"I killed some of your kind before and I will do so again if you refuse." Cut the sorcerer. "This man is destined to be the greatest king that ever lived and I intend to make sure this will happen. You will grant me this request."

Some were going to reply but the eldest Sidhe stopped them with a sign from his hand.

"Very well…." He started "We will do as you asked. But don't expect anything more from us. If this world your are dreaming of, doesn't come to pass soon, you will face the consequences."

Merlin didn't have time to ask what he meant by that. A powerful dome of light appeared all around the island, enclosing them. It lasted a few seconds and then everything was black, the Sidhes were gone. Merlin was once again alone in the cold. He took a deep breath and rushed to the boat. He fell on his knees next to Arthur and waited.

"Com'on Arthur…" whispered the warlock in a shaky voice. He put a hand on Arthur's jugular waiting for a pulse. Only a few seconds passed, endless and agonizing seconds, before the king's suddenly drew a long breath. Merlin jumped from the sound, his eyes wide, staring at the king like he never saw someone breathing before.

The shadow of a grin passed on Merlin's face before he started to laugh loudly in relief, amazed by the miracle before him. His heart was beating so hard against his chest, but this time in pure happiness. He grabbed his head with his two hands, leaving them there for a while. He continued to laugh while staring at his friend's chest rising up and down. Tears were threatening to fall once more. His magic calmed down slowly, the sun laid its gentle warmth on them, the lake's water went back to its usual immobility. He swallowed back the sobs rising in his throat and pushed the boat in the water, jumped in it and his eyes flashed gold. While the boat moved by itself to the mainland, Merlin couldn't stop looking at Arthur. Each of his breath was like music to his ears after the silence he had to pass through before. "I did it, he thought, It worked, I changed fate"

He was still smiling when he noticed someone was standing on the shore, waiting for them.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for the reviews :D Please keep on telling me what you think about the story !

As they came closer, Merlin recognized what looked like Percival. It wasn't until he saw his face in details that he realised something was wrong. The knight looked prostrate, and despite having the stature of a colossus, Merlin never saw him looked so fragile. When he raised his eyes towards Merlin, they were filled with unshed tears and fear. The young warlock could not detach his eyes from him, he never saw his friend so distressed and the feeling of stress and apprehension came back to clutch his chest. Whatever happened to him, it was bad, and at this moment Merlin wasn't totally sure he wanted to know.

Once they were close enough Percival ran to help his friend to land, Merlin jumped out of the boat, and landed in the water up to his knees. Percival grabbed his arm and squeezed slightly.

"Merlin" he said relieved before noticing his king lying still on the boat, with his chain mail stained with blood "Is he…?" He stopped, short of breath, a lump forming in his throat. He couldn't bring himself to even think their stupidity could have brought this.

"No, no, he is alright," said Merlin hastily, feeling his friend's despair.

Percival looked at the sky, full of relieve and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths.

"What happened?" whispered the warlock after a moment.

"Later, we need to take care of you both." The answer came immediately, in a stronger voice than before.

Surely Merlin didn't realise he looked so miserable in that instant. Soaked, haggard and red eyed, he looked exhausted, like if the slightest shock would make him shatter. He was also shaking from the cold, and the emotional tests he just passed through.

The strong knight held the king in his powerful arms and they started to walk back to the forest. Merlin felt numb while following him, now the adrenaline gone, his legs felt as if they were going to give up. They walked silently, although Merlin wanted to know what happened to his friend, he was grateful he didn't have to talk. He was feeling so tired he really couldn't right now and whatever news he still had to hear, he was no fit to take them right now. The only thing he wanted was to collapse on the ground and sleep for days.

Once near the edge of the forest, they found a place to leave the king to rest and started building a fire. They placed their king next to it, took off his chainmail his boots and covered him with Percival's knight coat. Once this was done, Merlin started to move around the camp collecting herbs and mushrooms, and looking for anything they could eat. The horses had disappeared earlier with their backpacks and the little amount of supply they had. Percival still had his horse though, but it seems he didn't have any supply either. Merlin suddenly fell the massive hand of Percival on his arm, stopping him.

"You need to rest, let me take care of this," he said, before heading towards the trees. "I'll try to find something."

Merlin was too weak to protest, he gave his friend a grateful look, took off his own boots and placed them to dry, before siting close to Arthur. He brought his knees against his chest and wrapped his arms around them, trying to keep warm.

For a while he stayed alone like this, watching his friend sleeping. He couldn't believe the situation had seemed so desperately hopeless a few hours ago and now he was just waiting for Arthur to wake up. As he looked at him, although he should have been filled with nothing but relief, he realised his stomach was still torn with apprehension: Arthur's last words were words of acceptance and gratitude. But what if he said all those things because he was dying? What if he regretted them now? Merlin stared at the fire, chewing his lips. He didn't know what he would do if his friend rejected him. He didn't want to think about it, but couldn't really stop either.

A moan drew his attention. He jumped to his feet and was at Arthur's side immediately, kneeling next to him. The king took a long breath and blinked a few times, he looked above him, waiting for his vision to focus. He could however perceive a blurred face with raven hair above him. He tried to concentrate on it until his sight came back to normal.

"Merlin" he whispered.

Merlin couldn't prevent himself to smile from ear to ear; he had feared he would not hear this voice ever again. He grabbed a flask, and hold his friend's head while he was drinking.

"How did you…how could you…what happened ?" Arthur tried to make coherent phrases as his mind was trying to fill the holes in the story.

"Its a long story, the important part is that you are alive."

"You'll have to explain me everything," he said as he touched his stomach where the sword struck him, there was no trace of any wound.

"I will, I promise"

Arthur was wondering how a man could even defy death.

"Morgana?" he asked suddenly, looking around as he expected to see her appearing in front of them.

"She is dead." Simply stated Merlin.

They stayed silent for a moment, both lost in their thoughts.

"You look terrible," said Arthur, glancing at his friend.

"You are not better" Merlin grinned. It seems their usual banter was coming back, and his heart was beating with hope at this idea. He couldn't detach his eyes from Arthur, as if he would disappear as soon as he would turn his head away.

"Stop looking at me like this, I'm not going anywhere" this one joked, feeling the inquisitive look on him.

"Sorry…you just died in my arms a few hours ago." He tried to sound as if it wasn't a big deal but his voice betrayed him, his throat was tight with emotion and he sounded a bit too high pitch. It was hard to remember those moments; the pure agony and the hopeless future that crashed over him, and he doubted he could ever forget what he felt back there.

Arthur saw the distress in his friend's eyes and felt a wave of empathy for him.

"I'm sorry you had to live this…I really am…and it seems I owe you my life," he finished with a smile.

"That wouldn't be the first time."

"No it wouldn't be…"

Merlin helped him to sit down and stood to add some firewood.

"How did you bring me to the lake? Did you drag me all the way?"

"I'm not as weak as I seem."

"No but…we were so far…and I felt like, you know, dying…and how did you heal me?"

"…"

"Merlin"

"Sire?" he turned to face him with big innocent eyes.

"Your king asked you a question."

"Can't his highness wait until we are back in Camelot?"

"No, Merlin, I want to know…Oh come on, I already know you're a sorcerer, what could possibly be worse than that?"

It was brief but Arthur noticed the hurt that passed through his friend's eyes.

"I mean…I didn't want to say worse, that is not what I meant…I just…Merlin…"

The warlock sighed and sat on the other side of the fire, facing his king. He didn't want to talk about that, he was so tired, and Arthur just woke up from the dead. He didn't want him to start shouting at him already. He just stared at the fire in silence.

"If it's about magic, ok I reacted a bit harshly at the beginning but I was in shock and, by the way, I was dying, you can't possibly be angry for that? Especially after what I said at the…

At this moment Merlin's eyes shifted from the fire to meet his friend's. He was being ridiculous, Arthur didn't really seem angry with him, did he?

As he seemed to understand, a flash of anger passed through Arthur's eyes.

"Oh wait…is that what it is all about? You think I said all those things because I was dying? Of all the idiots on earth, Merlin, you…"

Percival chose this exact moment to appear from the wood, holding two big rabbits in one hand. He quickly put them near the fire and he hastened to knee before his king.

"Sire!"

"Percival!" all trace of anger just vanished to be quickly replaced by joy and relieve, "How did you find us?" he said smiling at his knight.

"Sire…something terrible happened, it is my fault if Morgana found where you were heading. Me and Gwaine…" at this point his voice broke and he closed his eyes tight trying to control his feelings, "We knew where she was heading to, we went after her."

Both Merlin and Arthur were in shock, staring at Percival with wide eyes.

"You what?!" shouted the king, rising to his feet.

"She tortured Gwaine to death…and learnt where to find you…" tears were rolling down his cheeks when he finished talking.

"Gwaine…." Whispered Merlin in a strangled voice. "No…"

Arthur started to pace around the camp, his hand automatically looking for his sword without finding it, he was so mad at this moment he needed to hit something.

"What came over you?! You two, alone, to fight a high priestess, were you out of your mind?!" Arthur's angry shouts were echoing around them.

Percival remained silent, bowing his head a bit further. The king kept on shouting for a while before stopping abruptly to meet Percival's eyes. He took the voice he used when he was acting like the king, a strong and calm voice although grief was filling it.

"He was a brave knight…the bravest…he will be honoured once we get back to Camelot…"

Merlin was still froze in shock. Once the silence came back to fill the forest, he stood up and walked away, in the direction of the lake. Trying to don't think, don't think and just walk away.

They watched him leave without a word and a long moment passed before Arthur spoke again.

"Percival… I'd like to give word to Camelot that we are both alive and well and that we are on our way."

"You want me to leave you alone my lord? But the forest is still crowded with Saxons."

"I feel good enough to fight if needed. Trust me," he said while staring at the place where Merlin had disappeared. "I am perfectly safe."

Percival, still on his knee, bowed his head one more time and stood to prepare his horse.

"I'll ask for a patrol to be sent to meet you"

"You can leave after lunch."

"Sire."

Arthur put a hand on his friend's shoulder and squeezed a bit.

"He was a good friend."

The knight nodded and grabbed one of his knives to start skinning the rabbits. After a while, Arthur headed towards the lake to look for his manservant. He found him seated on a rock near the edge of the forest, his knees pressed against his chest and his face buried in them. Arthur walked slowly to his friend and seated next to him, staring at the horizon. They could see a part of the lake from there. If Merlin noticed his presence he didn't show anything. They just shared silence for a while, until Merlin finally raised his head and wiped his tears. He was still shaking slightly with quiet sobs though and he gritted his teeth trying to make them stop. Some more minutes passed before Arthur turned to look at his friend.

"I'm sorry," he said.

The young warlock raised his, once more, red eyes to look at his king. He could see the grief printed on his face.

"Me too," he whispered.

"Merlin," Arthur started, without looking away from his manservant, "I meant what I said…I don't want you to change. I still have a lot to understand about you, but if there's something I know, it's that I'm happy to have you as a friend."

Merlin didn't know what to say. His emotions were a horrible mix between the loss of Gwaine and the acceptance of Arthur.

"When you're ready, come to have some food," the king said before going back to the camp.

Merlin didn't wait long before following his friend. He helped Percival to cook the rabbits, grilled some mushrooms and they all sat around the fire. Percival left straight after lunch, and Merlin and Arthur started they long walk back to Camelot.

"So Merlin…about that lake…" said Arthur while walking through the forest.

Merlin sighed, but started to answer anyway.

"I…had help…from a friend."

"A friend? Where is he?"

"He flied away…."

"What do you mean "flied away"?" he frowned.

Merlin drew a deep breath and quickly answered before squeezing his eyes shut.

"He is a dragon."

"Your friend…is a dragon….ok…nothing abnormal…sorry, what?!"

"Arthur..."

"Merlin…"


	4. Chapter 4

Arthur had asked more questions, and each answer had brought ten questions more, and Merlin was just so tired, and Arthur was keeping on asking things that were not reaching Merlin's mind anymore.

"By the way, you spoke against magic many times, was it all an act then?"

His tone was light and there was no trace of resentment in his words, he was just trying to understand.

But Merlin could barely focus on anything else than his violent headache or his feet that felt so heavy. Arthur's voice was no more than a fuzzy noise at the back of his mind. He pressed a hand to his forehead, trying to refocus on his surroundings.

"Mer-lin! Are you listening?"

He has stopped walking, eyes closed, struggling to keep is balance. His world just started spinning. Arthur kept on walking a few meters before checking if his manservant was sulking or just gone mute. He paused a moment, hesitating.

"Merlin?"

Concern filled his voice. Pushed by instinct, he rushed to his friend's side and caught him just in time as he was falling over.

He lowered them both to the ground, still holding his friend.

"Hey, Merlin, open your eyes." he said while slapping lightly his friend's cheeks.

Merlin groaned a bit before doing as he was told.

"What happened? …Good lords Merlin, you're burning" Arthur noticed as his hand brushed Merlin's forehead.

"I'm just...a bit tired that's all" Merlin pushed slightly Arthur away as he tried to stand.

"We'll make camp here, you need to rest."

"Arthur we need to move, everyone is waiting for your return," the warlock protested.

"I don't want to have to carry my idiot of a servant all the way to Camelot."

Although he was partly joking his tone was firm and didn't permit any more contradiction. Merlin didn't feel like arguing anyway and gave up, he grabbed the hand his friend was holding out and went to lie down against a tree.

"We still have time before night falls, we'll stay here a couple of hours. Just rest Merlin, I'll keep watch."

Merlin nodded and closed his eyes. He fell asleep immediately and when he woke up again it was pitch black. Arthur was not far from him, adding wood to the fire he lighted.

"How long did I sleep?" his voice was rough.

"Quite a while" Arthur said absently, staring at the fire

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"I felt like being nice…" he smiled before adding, "you are exhausted Merlin, we wouldn't have walked long before you'd have fainted again like a girl."

"I didn't faint!"

"Yeah whatever you say, come here and get some food."

He sat upright, feeling a bit dizzy but his headache had stopped for now.

He took some of the meat Arthur had grilled.

"It's not rat is it?" he said as he gave his friend a doubtful look.

"While you were sleeping," Arthur said, ignoring Merlin's question, "I had time to think."

"Oh, that can't be good." He joked as he was having a bite of the strange meat.

"I thought about…all these times where things don't add up, where I thought we were just being lucky…and now I know it was probably you. All this time Merlin, I still can't figure out how you never been caught."

"I was counting on your inability to notice obvious things."

"At least I was helpful in something"

"You have no idea...If it was another king I was serving, I would be long dead by now."

But Arthur acted as he didn't acknowledge the joke.

"It must have been hard…all this time. Hiding your powers…staying quiet when you knew the truth… and all your funny feelings…I'm sorry I 've barely listened to you."

"Oh I wouldn't say 'barely' sire…more like 'never'."

"ha-ha"

Arthur chewed a bit of the unknown meat before continuing.

"When the Disirs asked me to choose between Mordred and Magic, you tried to get rid of him when you could have me accepted Magic back to Camelot …Why? "

The thought of Mordred was enough to bring back the awful and so well known feeling clutching his chest.

"I was warned many times before of what Mordred was destined to do…my stupidity pushed me to think I could change people…that this little boy couldn't really be the druid destined to kill you…and so many times I had the chance to get rid of him, and yet I didn't…I curse myself for this, if I had acted before…"

"Merlin…what you think is your weakness is actually your strength…you believe in people…you see what's good in them…you even believed in a prat, you believed I could be more than what you saw."

"Maybe…" he smiled remembering those times when Arthur was even more unbearable than now. "But that doesn't change the fact I didn't act when I should have to...so when the Disirs spoke, I've seen my chance to get rid of him, it was like giving them my burden, I wouldn't have to kill him myself in the end…it was hard to tell you this…because I was pushing you to condemn a friend…and because I was probably turning you against magic for ever. "

"But you took the risk."

"No Arthur, I took the chance, the chance to save you from what Fate had decided."

"I don't get it…you told me your destiny was to bring back magic to Camelot"

"To be honest it's been a while I stopped caring about destiny…in the end your life meant more than anything else. In any case, with you dead I don't see how magic could come back." he smiled.

"But in the end they didn't kill Mordred…" Arthur said as he frowned.

"No…and I've been a fool to don't realise it before. Because they knew Mordred was meant to be your doom, so when you refused magic they actually let Mordred live, it was your condemnation. "

"So there wasn't a good answer to this bargain. Either I said no to magic and Mordred was still there to kill me, either I accepted, Mordred would have died and I would have turned on magic anyway…"

He took one last bite and drunk some water before continuing.

"All those years…were you really thinking I would kill you without a second thought?"

It was painful for Arthur to think his best friend had lived in fear of him for so long.

Merlin had stopped eating long before, talking about all those things just didn't make him hungry.

"I…thought about both eventualities…one being you, accepting me, and the other one was less happy than that…I…was scared yes…I'm not gonna lie, I had nightmares more than once about being caught and sentenced to the pyre…"

Arthur gulped at that, the thought was just unbearable.

"And all the time I was witnessing executions, I couldn't think of anything else than "It could be me". "

Arthur swallowed and closed his eyes. Imagining the terror his friend must have lived in.

"But as time passed I realised, that I wasn't as afraid of being burned alive as I was of loosing your trust. "

Arthur stared into his friend's eyes, reading all the raw emotions in there.

"So many times I was about to tell you..."

"But then I was saying something like "magic is evil"."

"Pretty much."

"I'm sorry…for everything you had to pass through…I wish I could have helped you."

They stayed silent for a while. The night was calm, only the sound of the wood cracking into the fire could be heard.

"About those things that don't add up…" Arthur finally said, bringing back Merlin for his thoughts.

"Oh here we go."

"You told me the great dragon helped you to bring me to the lake."

"Yes"

"And that you called him"

"Yes"

"I didn't ask back then 'cause I thought you called him using one of your strange magic thing…"

Merlin would have rolled his eyes but knew too well where this conversation was leading and didn't want to talk about it. Really.

"But now that I'm thinking about it, when the dragon attacked Camelot, we needed a dragon lord to call him off…"

Merlin hung his head for a while, thinking of his answer.

"I'm a dragon lord Arthur."

"W-what ? But, why didn't you…?"

"I just didn't know I was one back there. The dragon lord we found…just before we left to find him…Gaius told me he was my father."

Shock printed on Arthur's face.

"He never knew he had a son…he had to leave my mother to save her from any harm during the great purge…"

"Oh gods, Merlin…"

Arthur remembered perfectly what happened that day, how this man died on the way to Camelot, Merlin's tears for him made sense now…and what he said to Merlin after that.

"No man is worth your tears," he thought.

He closed his eyes once again, letting the guilt sink in.

"You didn't know. It's not your…" Merlin guessed what his friend had in mind.

"You see, " he cut, "this is exactly why I'm still angry with you for not telling me!" he stood, anger flooding in him. "I could have been there for you Merlin, all those things I said about magic being pure evil, all those moments when you had to hide your grief to not be discovered…it's just making me mad!"

He walked a few steps away, trying to calm down. Merlin gulped and just stared at the ground before him. Arthur breathed deeply before turning back to face his friend.

Merlin's eyes were wet with unshed tears although he was doing his best to hide it.

"I'm sorry I had to lie…I hope you'll can forgive me for that…"

Arthur felt bad for what his friend had to live and for how he was treating him now, the younger man was clearly shaken and the only thing Arthur was doing was shouting at him while making him remember how his father died. It was clearly not the moment. He sighed deeply.

"I shouldn't shout at you. We are both tired and it's a lot to cope with, I just need time… but believe me, there's nothing to forgive. You did what you thought was right." He said as his voice calmed down.

Merlin just kept still, and Arthur went back to sit next to him.

He sighed once more.

"I feel like missing half the story…everything I thought to be true, you surely have another version of it…but I shouldn't push you. When you're ready…will you tell me about everything I missed?"

"I will…but there are things I'm not proud of…things you will be mad about…"

"Everyone makes mistakes…and I know I made a lot of them myself, so I don't think I'm in the right place to judge you."

"Still…you will be mad anyway."

"I promise to do my best to don't chop your head off."

He wasn't sure if his joke would work but Merlin finally smiled and he allowed himself to do it too. Whatever Merlin had to tell him, he was sure this was promising a lot of future sleepless nights.


	5. Chapter 5

Since Guinevere came back from Camlann, she was spending most of her free time in her husband's chambers. Day after day, she would stand by a window and look without really seeing, people walking around, taking care of their duties, children running, knights patrolling. The citizens were going on with their lives as if nothing happened. Well, in fact nothing really happened in Camelot. Thanks to Arthur's courageous decision, the lands of Camelot remained untouched by the terrible battle that took place in Camlann. Of course, nothing could prevent the death of a number of faithful knights; but the funerals were finished now, and while the families were still grieving their beloved ones, life in Camelot was going on.

Her fingers brushed for the umpteenth time today, the ring suspended at her neck, the symbol of royalties brought by Gaius a few days ago. She felt like having a little part of Arthur with her, even if it was non sense, she kept touching at the ring, praying for her husband's return.

She was really busy the first days after her return and was grateful for it, as it kept her from thinking too much. She had to organize the ceremonies for the dead knights, send messages to the nearby kingdoms, and take care of the daily complaints and problems going around Camelot. She dreaded inactivity and therefore, the night, as she was left alone with her thoughts. Most of the time, she couldn't sleep and then was turning in her bed for hours before closing her eyes with exhaustion just before dawn. Gaius threatened her many times to pour a sleeping draught in her drink if she didn't accept it on her own, but she kept declining. Gaius could threaten her as much as he wanted, he wasn't sleeping either.

Sometimes she was visiting him, in his office and chambers he was sharing with his ward. He would prepare some tea for both of them and they would talk about anything for a few hours. But then they would inevitably start talking about their dear missing friends. In those moments, Gwen was realising how old was really Gaius. He never seemed so much his age, so much like a man that never been spare by life, as when their were talking of Merlin. And something was telling her that he wouldn't survive the death of his almost son.

Tonight was one of those nights when she was finally alone after a very full day. She wasn't going to talk with Gaius, she needed to be alone for once. And as the last candle was dying slowly, she couldn't stop thinking of _him_. Her beloved husband out there somewhere, injured. And the news she dreaded, that were never coming. She hoped so much to see him passing the city's doors, alive and well. Sometimes she could almost see him, riding into the courtyard, his scarlet cape bearing a golden dragon. Smiling at her as he would dismount, unharmed. Then she would realise she was daydreaming and would find something to occupy her mind. Some other times her thoughts were taking her to the same uncertain path; What if he didn't make it? What if Merlin couldn't save him?

"I can't do this alone Arthur", she whispered in the dead of the night. Her eyes watering once again.

She swallowed back the lump in her throat and forced herself to breathe deeply. She had to be strong for her people, for the kingdom, for him. She forced herself to hold on to the hope she cherished day after day, the hope that Arthur was with the most powerful sorcerer of all times, if she believed what Gaius had told her, and that he wouldn't leave him, he wouldn't allow him to die. Merlin wasn't just a powerful sorcerer, he was Arthur's best friend and had been for almost 10 years now. He had always been there for him, through thick and thin, and had always brought him back, this time would not be any different.

When the candle finally died and the dark embraced her, she finally conceded to walk back to her bed.

"Please come back", she silently prayed one last time, before closing her eyes and trying to empty her mind.

A few minutes later, as she was turning on her other side for the fifth time, a horse galloping into the court yard could be heard, the sound of its feet echoing loudly. She rose quickly and went to the window. In a glance she realised it had to be a knight of Camelot, although she couldn't tell from there who he was. She grabbed her coat while running to her door and hurried out of her chambers, down to the courtyard. She met the knight half way in a corridor.

"My lady" he said out of breath.

"Percival!" she stopped, surprised. "Where have you been?!"

So many thoughts were crashing into Percival's mind, he didn't know from where to start. He came closer to the queen and breathed the only words Guinevere wanted to hear.

"The king is alive. He sent me to tell you he is on his way, I'd like to lead the escort to find him"

Gwen felt like the ground was moving beneath her feet and had to grab the corridor's wall to keep her balance. Her heart was pounding so hard she barely understood what came after Percival's first words. Arthur was alive. He was alive and he was on his way home. The information didn't seem to sink in plainly. She needed to see him, to hold him close, and then and only then she would allow herself to let go. She took a deep breath before answering to the knight.

"Thank you Percival, prepare a group of knight and leave as soon as you can"

"Yes, my lady"

He bowed to her and retreated to the knight's quarter.

Once alone, Guinevere couldn't stop another wave of relief and hope to surround her. She brought a hand to her heart, laughing with exhaustion and relief. She gave a last look outside a window and walked back to her chambers. She would dress and wait for dawn before waking up Gaius.

Less than an hour later, ten knights were riding through the courtyard, leaded by Percival and followed closely by Leon. Luckily the moon was almost full that night and the sky clear, providing enough light to avoid waiting for dawn.

* * *

**I'm sorry for the late chapter! I had a loooot of work to finish, although I know that's not really an excuse! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please let me know what you think and I promise the next chapter won't take long, also I'd like to thank everyone for your reviews, I always appreciate them ! **


	6. Chapter 6

After a good night sleep, although quite uncomfortable, they continued their journey towards Camelot. The sun didn't quite start to rise yet.

Arthur agreed he wouldn't ask any more questions until they reached Camelot and rested for a while. On his side Merlin promised he would answer to all of them.

Arthur didn't want to push Merlin too much; he looked a bit better than before but was still exhausted. Something to do with his magic, he thought.

It was strange to think of Merlin as a sorcerer, no, a warlock he'd said. Although he didn't really comprehend the difference for now. Anyway it was strange to think of Merlin, no really, Mer-lin, as mighty and powerful, but slowly he was getting used to it.

He couldn't wait to be back in Camelot, but he was also a bit nervous at the idea. How many people did they lose? And what was he gonna do with Merlin? Surely things couldn't continue as they were before, although the idea of changing his manservant made him a bit sad; and what would he do with Magic in general?

Well, he had no idea but surely it could wait after a bath, some food and a good night of sleep.

He still couldn't believe Merlin, with all those powers stayed his manservant for ten years. He never sought any recognition for what he's done, he had to stay silent when he knew so much, sneak around to do what he could to help, live in fear of being discovered, as well as polishing his armour and mucking the stable; no Arthur really couldn't believe it. He was sad thinking about it, he wished his friend could have told him earlier without fearing his reaction. Although Arthur knew Merlin couldn't really have picked a moment when he would have reacted all so well to the news.

Thinking of all those times when Arthur didn't listen to him, or just told him he was an idiot. He bit his bottom lips while he was thinking of how much the real idiot was himself from the start. He had been so blind all along.

Although there have been hints, hell, Merlin even admitted to be a sorcerer when Gwen had been accused of sorcery.

When he first heard his friend tell him about his powers some nights ago, Arthur had been shocked and angry. Thinking of yet another person being so close to him, deceiving him would have been the final blow to kill him. But he never thought of it this way, he knew deep in his heart that Merlin would have never betrayed him, would have never done anything to hurt him. Merlin was like a brother to him and he trusted him too much to think of any of those explanations. He'd been angry but not because of the magic, because his best friend didn't trust him enough with this part of his life. Of course now Arthur understood Merlin's reasons for hiding his powers so long but it still annoyed him he didn't know before.

It was almost midday when they joined one of the main roads leading to Camelot and Arthur noticed the sound of water passing by. He chased away his previous thoughts and called his friend to a halt as he started to go out of the road and down through the trees. It didn't take long to find the large river flowing all but quietly. He took their only water skin inherited from Percival and filled it with fresh pure water. He drunk some before handing it to Merlin and filled it one more time.

They sat next to each other on the rocks bordering the river.

"I can't wait to retrieve my bed" Merlin sighed before washing is face in the fresh water.

"Oh god me too."

They laughed together and then stayed quiet for a while. Arthur lay down under a tree, appreciating those moments of peace at last. A few minutes later Merlin broke the silence.

"What…will you do once in Camelot?" he hesitated as he cupped his hands to collect water.

"Sleep I suppose" Arthur kept his eyes closed while his friend was just staring at the water flowing.

"I mean..."

"I know what you meant…" he whispered "to be honest I don't know yet, I'm not sure of what I'll do or how I'll do it…"

"I guess I should… keep on hiding my magic" his eyes were not wavering from the troubled surface of the river.

Arthur opened his eyes to scan his manservant. He really didn't want to say what he said next.

"For the time being…yes. Until I figure out what to do. Although if you wish to tell anyone about it, it is your right."

"Gwen…I want to tell her…." Merlin whispered, lost in his thoughts, before dropping his eyes to his hands "I wish I could tell Gwaine too…"

"I know…" Arthur sat upright and went next to his friend once more. "Merlin"

The young warlock finally stopped staring at the river and turned to face a pair of deep blue eyes.

"It's gonna be alright." Arthur said as he grabbed Merlin's shoulder. "I'm sure everything is going to be fine. And in case… I'll protect you", he added with a confident smile.

Merlin laughed a little but he was grateful for his friend's efforts to cheer him up. He relaxed a bit and went to sit in the sun not far from where Arthur lay down once again.

"Does anyone else know?" asked Arthur with what he wanted to sound like a casual tone. He glanced at his friend but he didn't seem to be bothered by the question.

"Gaius …and my mother of course." Merlin smiled thinking about her, "She told me I could move objects all around the house before I knew how to walk or speak"

"Poor Hunith, couldn't have been easy!" They laughed but Merlin's smile quickly faded.

"Yeah…she was so scared all the time that someone would discover what I could do. I always felt terrible to create her so much trouble."

Arthur bit his lips but asked before he realised it.

"What was it like? Growing up in Ealdor?"

"Not as comfortable as growing up in Camelot's castle", Merlin teased.

Arthur rolled his eyes, but Merlin answered anyway.

"Ealdor has always been a quiet place. Life is simple, people just focused on working in the fields to have enough food to last the winter. There was a woman making bread for everyone, just opposite my house." The young warlock was lost in his thoughts one more time, flooded my memories. "I could smell the warm bread just out of the oven from my room. My mother would go to buy some and we would share it while she would tell me a story…I was spending most of my time with Will, joking around, creating troubles. My mother always been so patient with us." He laughed, "I don't know how she managed to…then when I was older I helped in the fields. Nothing exciting." He threw a little rock in the river and watched it drawn.

Arthur kept his eyes closed all along; trying to imagine what it would have been like to live there.

"Do you miss your life there?"

"I miss my mother…and Will."

"He wasn't a sorcerer." It wasn't a question. The truth just appeared, clear and obvious to Arthur's mind.

"No…He lied to protect me…He was the only one to ever found out. That's how we became so close."

"You were going to tell me that day…" the king realised before loosing himself in his thoughts. Thinking of this time they fought to protect Ealdor.

After a while Merlin felt like he needed to continue.

"When I was a child I always wondered why everyone hated magic, why those possessing it were hunted and killed. Why people would want to kill me if they knew. And since everyone was saying magic was evil, well, I started to ask myself if I was evil too. If I was some kind of monster." He smiled bitterly after that.

There was a heavy silence after those last words. Arthur was shocked. He never thought about this from this angle. How many children grew up like Merlin thinking they were monsters?

"I'm sorry," was the only thing he could say. And he was really sorry, for it was his father's laws that created such hate towards magic. Those laws that made a little boy wonder if he was a monster that deserved to be killed. Those same laws still applying in his kingdom under his rule. And Arthur was even more at a loss of words when Merlin spoke next.

"Camelot is the only place where I feel like I truly belong to. Feel that I am needed."

"Why? Why come to Camelot?" the question rushed past his lips before he could stop it, he had wanted to ask this since Merlin told him his secret.

"My mother sent me to Gaius. She thought he would be able to help me to find my place. And then I found out that I was meant to protect a prat, and help him become a great king. " Merlin smiled at him.

"I wonder who that might be." Arthur replied contemplating the sky through the trees. "You could have left," he added.

"And where would you be then?" Merlin laughed sharply but then looked at his king very seriously.

"I didn't stay because someone told me to, Arthur. I stayed because you were my friend, and I believed in you and the future you would create."

"You hated me when we met."

"Well you were such a prat", he said smiling. "At first I thought you were just a spoiled bully. But then…well I still thought you were a prat but I knew there was more to it. "

Arthur could just stare, amazed. He remembered the young boy that came that day, ten years ago. This boy that drunk poison for him less than a month after he arrived. How could he have felt some much loyalty already to risk his life for him? This boy that decided to stay and protect him, when he could have been killed on the spot if he was discovered. Although Arthur didn't know how he would have reacted if Merlin would have told him earlier, he liked to think he wouldn't have hurt him, that he wouldn't have handed him to his father. He couldn't have done that, not to him.

After another silence, Merlin continued. He was playing with the grass around his hands, breaking it absently.

"Lancelot knew…"

Arthur shifted his weight on his elbows trying to be more comfortable.

"Did you tell him?" he glanced at him from the corner of his eyes, trying to put on a detached face without really succeeding. The thought of Merlin telling Lancelot but not him, was kind of frustrating.

"He guessed…I enchanted his lance to kill the griffin, he saw me."

"You killed the griffin?" Again, he tried to don't sound surprised, failing.

"Magic is the only way to kill those kind of creatures."

"I really feel more and more stupid," he sighed, "Even Lancelot guessed when he just met you."

"It's not your fault. I was being extra careful around you."

Little by little Arthur was making his decision about what he was going to do once in Camelot. It wasn't going to be easy, but he was more and more sure it was the right thing to do.

"What about you, how is it to grow up as the prince of Camelot?"

Arthur considered the question for a moment before replying.

"Well I never missed anything, I always had more than I needed to be honest. I never had to worry about winter or food…" he hesitated to continue but after all Merlin just told him personal stories as well…and he wouldn't laugh.

"The only thing I missed was my father. To him I was the heir of Camelot and I needed to behave as such, all the time. He always refused to show is affection to me, cause it wasn't dignified to show his feelings. I saw him everyday but it was like I didn't know him…and he always refused to talk about my mother." He said it all at once; he couldn't believe he said all of that. He glanced at Merlin, who was listening peacefully waiting for him to continue. It was strange to talk about his childhood and realising how angry he still was with his father.

"When all the children were playing in the courtyard I had to stay inside. I spent my time trying to get rid of my nurse or the guards. Sometimes I managed to, but never for long. One day I became friend with a stable boy. When I could escape we were playing at being knights or this kind of things. I started to teach him what I was learning about how to fight and we could have endless fight with pieces of wood."

They laughed.

"One day my father discovered what I was doing; he was so angry. He lectured me about how the future crown prince couldn't go around alone to play with commoners. He forbade me to ever see my friend again and said he would lose his job if I didn't obey. I begged and cried, but it was no use, he just looked at me with so much disdain…" he stayed lost in his thoughts a few minutes, his fists closed, "…After this, I stopped to try making contact with other children, I just trained." He sighed, shifting his wait on his forearms. "Later I started to hang around with lord's sons. A bunch of boot lickers. Before you, all the people around me, they were just pretending so they could be close to the prince. You're the only one that just never cared about that, the only one to ever say to my face what you were thinking. I'm glad your mother sent you to Camelot."

Slightly shocked to hear so much of the king's deep thoughts, it took a few seconds before Merlin could reply, smiling.

"Who knows how big of a prat you would be now."

Arthur gave him a look, but continued.

"The only thing I ever wanted was to get attention from my father, to make him proud. But whatever I was doing, it was never enough. He's always been so distant…and now I realise how many mistakes I've made just by trying to please him."

Understanding that he wouldn't stop and that Merlin would not stop him either, he decided it was enough.

"Anyway…" he started, trying to find something to say, "come on, we still have a long way to go"

He stood and held a hand to Merlin, still amazed of how much Arthur just told him.

He was a bit sad thinking as soon as they were back in Camelot, both of them would take back their roles as servant and king, and this kind of moments when Arthur would just open his heart, would not occur before long.

Merlin thought about what Arthur just said; he already knew Uther was a man hard to pleased but he never thought about how hard it should have been for his friend, without his mother and with a father like Uther, being raised to be King, without real friends around him. At least Merlin had Will back then.

Not long after they were back on the main road, they could hear the noise of horses arriving. They jumped behind the bushes along the road and waited for the riders to pass.

A moment later they could see a dozen riders galloping towards them. Recognizing the knights of Camelot they jumped back on the road, both of them laughing, relieved to see their friends.

The knights slowed down at the sight of the two men on the road and stopped near their king.

"Sire!" shouted Leon as he dismounted.

"Leon!" this one replied, smiling, and grabbing Leon into a short one-armed hug. "I've never been so happy to see you!"

They all laughed. And as Percival stepped forward to salute his king, Leon turned towards Merlin and hugged him as well.

"Merlin! We were so worried about you both, you can't imagine!"

Indeed, all the knights but especially Leon and Percival were wearing dark circle under their eyes, and looked exhausted. "We searched for you days and nights"

"I'm happy to see you too" said Merlin, smiling with the rest of them. Finally, he thought, we are going home.

Merlin mounted with Percival and Arthur with Leon. And they all rode back to Camelot.


	7. Chapter 7

A knock at her door.

"Come in" she said precipitaly, standing from the chair she placed near a window.

"My lady!" the page cried as he bowed, out of breath, "They are here!"

Without another word she ran out of her room and followed the page downstairs. She didn't stop until she was at the bottom of the stairs facing the courtyard. Gaius was there as well, and glanced at the Queen nervously.

They could already hear them entering the city gates. The horses' feet pondering on the ground loudly. She couldn't stop staring at the far side of the court, her heart hammering in her chest. Finally the riders came in, slowing down from their canter. They were followed by a lot of villagers, cheering at the return of their king. Her eyes searched for her husband frantically. Stopping briefly on each rider until she finally found him; and suddenly the world seemed to come down to him and her. Just Him and Her. Gwen started to walk towards him, trying to control her pace. There wasn't anything else on earth that she wanted more than run to him but as the queen she forced herself to keep it to a walk, although she was going faster and faster as she was approaching him. She was trying to keep it together, just for a few more seconds; she just needed to keep it together. In the meanwhile Arthur dismounted his horse quickly, searching the courtyard for his wife with a quick movement of his eyes. And then he saw her, walking towards him. In a heartbeat he strode forward and closed the distance between them in a short run. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. He closed his eyes and it was as if nothing else existed around them. Just Her and Him. He could smell her perfume, and touch her soft skin and nothing else mattered anymore.

"Oh Arthur" she sobbed as the king tightened his grip.

"Shhh" he whispered, brushing her hair gently and kissing her neck. "I'm here…I'm here."

He doesn't know how long they stayed hugged like this but even forever didn't seem long enough in this moment. When he felt like he could, he took a small step backward, and cupped her face with a hand. He looked at her a moment, blue eyes sinking in deep browns, engraving this image in his mind before kissing her lips passionately.

In the meanwhile Merlin was down his horse as well, and walked towards Gaius to be hugged by his almost father.

"My boy" The old man whispered in a shaky voice.

"Gaius…" breathed the young man as he returned the hug. "We made it Gaius."

Merlin couldn't stop smiling as the realisation stroke him. They were alive. And they were in Camelot. The crowd was cheering, the sun was shining and they were back at home. He broke the embrace and took a look at his mentor. The man looked exhausted, dark shadows were anchored under his eyes.

He was going to scold him for not being more careful with his health when he saw Guinevere with the corner of his eye.

He wasn't expecting the Queen to walk to him but he even less expected what happened next. He turned to her preparing to bow but she took one more step and hugged him. Merlin was startled at first that she showed so much care for a servant in public but then quickly hugged her back. For a moment her friend Gwen was back and Camelot's queen was far away.

"Thank you." she whispered. "Thank you for everything".

She smiled at him with grateful eyes and perhaps a bit of…admiration? Although he wasn't sure why she was thanking him, he returned her smile. He wasn't sure of what he was supposed to understand but surely she was just happy that he was alive. The crowd was still cheering when the horses were leaded to the stable and Gaius asked the king to follow him to his chambers for a health check. Merlin and Gwen closely followed them.

* * *

"Everything seems fine sire. A few bruise but nothing serious."

Arthur swung his legs from the bed he was sitting on and put back the jacket Merlin went to fetch for him. "Good to hear that. Do check on Merlin too."

"Of course sire."

Arthur clapped Merlin's shoulder as he passed on, heading for the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, have some rest"

"What about those two days off you promised me?"

"What? When did I say that?"

Merlin just glared at him and the king sighed.

"Don't start sulking, I'll see you in two days then."

Arthur took a few more seconds to look at his friend. His saviour. He gave him a nod and

with a last look, the King and Queen left. As soon as the door closed behind them, the physician pushed lightly his ward towards the bed.

"Alright, lay down now"

"I'm alright, Gaius." Sighed the young man.

"Let me be the judge of that"

Merlin tried to argue more but seeing at how high those eyebrows were rising he just sat on the bed. Gaius pulled a chair next to the bed and started to examine him.

"It seems you don't have any serious injuries… but your pulse is quite weak," he added, concern showing in his words. "Do you feel light headed?"

"I'm probably just tired."

"Go to lay down, I'm bringing you a draught."

Merlin did as he was told as he was realising he truly felt dizzy. A few minutes later Gaius walked in his room, a little glass in one hand, a big bowl in the other.

"Take this first." and he handed him the draught.

Merlin swallowed it in once but couldn't restrain a grimace.

"What is this?" he asked pointing at the bowl.

"I did promise your favourite meal would wait for you," smiled the physician.

"Oh, Gaius!" the mighty warlock suddenly looked like a child on Christmas day as he was taking the bowl of stew and digging a wooden spoon into it.

"Thank you."

Gaius sat on the bed next to him, a hand on his ward's shoulder.

"I was so worried. If you couldn't…save Arthur, I wondered if you would even come back…"

Merlin, who was realising how starving he was, stopped a moment to look at the old man.

"I'm sorry I made you worry."

It was the only thing he could say, he knew it wasn't much but he couldn't possibly tell Gaius that even himself didn't know if he would have come back in case…

He placed the hot bowl of food on the little table near his bed and hugged once more his almost father trying to comfort him the best he could.

They pulled apart with a smile. "I'm happy you're home," the physician added before leaving the room.

He walked down the creaky stairs and decided to make some tea. He moved towards one of the cupboard, the one filled with pouches of herbs he made especially for tea.

Everything will be all right in the end, he thought. He grabbed one of the little bag and smelled its scent, closing his eyes as he did so, comforting himself in the peaceful silence…

"Mhh, it's delicious Gaius!" shouted Merlin from his room, breaking the moment. Gaius shook his head slightly, smiling at the normality of it all.


	8. Chapter 8

I'm sorry for the delay! This is the last chapter, I thought about going on but I started this story more as a 'therapy' for myself to get over the season's final, it helped me and I hope it helped you too :) Thank you for reviewing and following this story!

* * *

_Arthur was walking in the middle of the battlefield, his eyes unfocused, taking in the bodies spread all around him. He crouched in front of one of his knights and reached his hand just before he passed out. Closing his eyes in a moment of respect and sadness he didn't notice the shadow approaching traitorously. The familiar feeling of thrill running through his spine made him turn just in time to block a sword swung at him. He stood quickly to defend himself but stopped, holding his breath. One of his knights, Mordred, was facing him. _

_Why Mordred? Why? He couldn't bring himself to kill the boy, his friend. But as he was deciding what to do, try to make him see reason, another breath was taken from him as Mordred coldly stabbed him. Just below his heart. The king fell on his knees, heart pulsing and ringing through his ears. He tried to take a breath but found out he couldn't, and he stayed there, at Mordred's feet, life leaving with each drop of blood falling in the dirt. The druid boy was staring at him, his eyes full of hate, a smirk planted on his face._

Merlin woke up in a gasp, his fists curling tight on his bed sheet. He sat upright, panting and pushed aside his hair, stuck with sweat on his forehead. It took him a moment to take in his surrounding, and remember how he got there. He look around his room, nothing had changed. He stood and went to the only window, everything looked the same but yet everything was different. He couldn't prevent a smile remembering the present situation. Arthur was safely backed in Camelot and had accepted his magic; Morgana and Mordred were dead, the Saxon had been defeated. The future seemed so bright suddenly. A gigantic weight seemed to leave his shoulders and he couldn't remember the last time he felt so peaceful. He stood up and dressed, before walking down the stairs to the main room of the apartment.

Gaius was already awake, having breakfast.

"Good morning!"

"Good morning Merlin, no lie in today?"

"No lie in for the brave!" he joked grabbing an apple and started to make his way to the door.

"At least sit down to have breakfast."

"But it's already sunrise, Arthur will need breakfast and..."

"Sit down my boy, I'm sure Arthur will appreciate a quiet morning for once."

He reluctantly came back and sat opposite Gaius. He knew everything was all right and that Arthur was most probably sound asleep with his wife, but Merlin needed to see him, he needed to realise once and for all that he didn't dream what happened. And that irrational fear wouldn't leave him until he did so. The old man pushed a plate with scrambled eggs, some bread and butter and a bunch of fruits, in front of his ward. Merlin stared at it, surprised, then looked at Gaius. The old man was using his fatherly smile, pouring some tea in two cups.

"All of this for me?"

"You're skin and bones, you need to eat."

His stomach chose this exact moment to manifest itself in a rather noisy way. He tried to control himself but as soon as his eyes met Gaius' they both exploded into a laugh.

"Thank you Gaius."

Gaius waited a few minutes before asking what was worrying him.

"I wanted to wait but I'm rather curious…what happened back there? How did you convince the Sidhes to help you?"

Merlin swallowed a piece of the bread and cleared his throat, trying to focus on the fact he managed to make them want what he wanted and not on the cold and unmoving body he had pressed against him back there.

"They didn't really want to help…"

"I was afraid so."

Merlin kept on eating and Gaius gave him a nod, pressing him to continue.

"I kind of…threaten them?" Merlin let his eyes moved from Gaius to the table twice before deciding his plate was most definitely interesting.

"You…threaten the Sidhes…" repeated the physician, placing a hand flat on the table, like to steady himself.

"I did…" his voice sounded a bit smaller, "It maybe wasn't the best of ideas-" he tried.

"No it wasn't" Gaius interrupted, disbelieving.

"But I was desperate Gaius", he pleaded, "…I …he was…" he took a deep breath before continuing, "Gaius, Arthur was dead. " his voice trembled on the last word, "He died before we even reached the lake. And I couldn't…I didn't…I didn't know what to do. And when the Sidhes refused to help I just…I couldn't find the strength to talk with them anymore I just kind of scared them I guess…"

"It's ok Merlin,", the old physician leaned forward and patted his ward's arm across the table. "I understand why you did it, I just hope there won't be any more problems."

"I don't think so…well everything happened quite fast…wait…I think the Sidhe elder said something, just before they disappeared…"

He finished his eggs and had another bite of bread and butter.

"I can't remember"

"I need you to try Merlin"

"I will" he drunk some tea "But I need to fetch Arthur's breakfast."

Gaius sighed, a hand to his forehead. "Off you go"

"I'll tell you everything later Gaius" and he ran towards the door.

"Thank you for the breakfast!" he added with a smile, just before leaving the room and jogging down the corridor.

Gaius returned his smile and shook his head slightly. "This boy keeps on surprising me…" he whispered to himself. He knew what he was feeling was pride, he was proud like a father was proud of his son. Merlin went down some stairs, walked some more and took more stairs down to the kitchen. He saluted the cook and the maids and was surprised at their enthusiast seeing him.

"Dear gods Merlin, we thought we'd never see you again." Said one of the maids dropping a platter to bring her hands to her mouth.

"It is true then, you brought the King back," added the cook, leaving her stew to look at him.

"Is that so surprising?" he laughed as he was adding food on a platter.

"Come back after lunch my boy, I'll save you some of my dumplings."

"Really?" Merlin stared in shock, never before the cook had given away her precious dumplings for free. The cook added two slices of warm bacon on a plate and passed it to Merlin to add on the king's platter.

"Go now, the king needs breakfast!"

He smiled to them and ran towards the upper floors with the heavy platter. Holding it with one hand and balancing it on one knee, he used his free hand to knock.

"Come in!" shouted the voice inside.

Merlin grabbed back the platter with both hands and pushed the door open with a shoulder.

"Good morning sire!" he said happily, letting the fear leaving him as he closed the door back with his foot. "My lady" he added with a bow when he spotted Gwen sitting on the bed.

"Good morning Merlin" she replied.

"Did he just knock?" whispered Arthur to his wife, shocked.

Merlin put the platter on the table. And walked to one of the big window, starting to open the heavy curtains. The sun was bathing the whole room of his light and warmth. In the meanwhile there was another knock on the door. Gwen's new maid appeared with a food platter. She saluted the king and queen politely, sent a smile to Merlin and put the platter next to the other one waiting.

"Is there anything else you require my lady?"

"It will be all for now, thank you"

The maid bowed and slipped out of the room. When all the curtains were open Merlin came back to the table and started to pour some fresh juice in the glasses.

"Full of energy this morning Merlin?" said the king as he left his bed.

"Well it's a rather nice day, sire" he replied smiling.

"Right…Are you ok?" he asked, really concerned.

"Of course" and it was true, Merlin had never felt so good, he didn't realise under how much pressure he was constantly for the past few weeks and now that everything was over he felt such a weight off his shoulder.

"I thought we agreed on two days off."

"You'd prefer that I call George to serve you?" Merlin replied ironically.

Arthur grimaced at the idea and sat at the table, followed closely by Gwen. Merlin headed towards the bed and started changing the sheets. He kept on eyeing Gwen, from the corner of his eye, biting his lower lip. After a while he stopped and took a few hesitant steps towards the queen, his heart hammering against his chest.

"Gwen… There's something I need to tell you."

"I know Merlin." She replied with a smile.

"You…know?" he hesitated, looking expectantly at Arthur.

"I guessed… with some of Gaius' hints."

"I…I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, it's not that I didn't trust you it's just that I…"

"Merlin, you don't need to explain anything." She reassured him as she stood, "I know you couldn't tell anyone."

"So…you don't mind?"

"When I understood who you were Merlin, and that you were with Arthur, it gave me hope. And I can't be grateful enough for that and for everything else." She took a step towards him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Thank you"

Merlin's brain was like frozen for a moment. He didn't expect her to take the news so well but he was really not accustomed to be thanked, especially not for using magic.

"Breath Merlin." Said Arthur when he thought his manservant was becoming slightly too red.

"I…thank you…both of you…for accepting me." His eyes were stinging but he tried to hide it before Arthur could tell him about how much of a girl's petticoat he was.

Trying to reign on his emotions he walked towards Arthur's wardrobe and started to pick some of the clothes he knew the king would need today.

"Are you having a training with the knights before or after the council?" he said while putting a blue wool's shirt on the back of a chair.

"Merlin. You don't need to do that."

"I feel fine really, I don't really need a day off, even less two, what would I do anyway," he grabbed a pair of brown trousers, "just tell me, council or training?"

"Merlin." Repeated Arthur as he stood away from his breakfast. "You're fired."

There was a moment of silence until Merlin remembered how to breath one more time. He couldn't detach his eyes from the king's, trying to find a hint of joke before he allowed himself to process the words to his brain.

"I'm sorry?"

"I won't need you as my manservant anymore." stated the king.

The pair of trousers slept through his fingers to the ground, he couldn't stop staring.

"I…don't understand."

"Well it's easy, I can't have a mighty sorcerer polishing my armour and mucking out my stables."

It's when the colour was starting to drain from Merlin's cheeks that Arthur decided the joke was enough. He sent him a reassuring smile.

"I can't keep you as my manservant." He took a step closer to his friend, "But I want you to be my personal advisor. You've already been for more than ten years now; I just want to make it official. I want you to stand beside me during the council this morning, and for all the other councils after this one."

Merlin had still not moved and Arthur was starting to get worried his little joke had gone too far.

"Merlin?"

"You…are serious?"

The king smiled to him and closed the space between them.

"It would be a great honour if you accepted."

"Me? At the council? They will never…"

"Merlin. Who is the king here? I'm not talking about what they will say or not. You are one of the people I trust the most. Your loyalty and your courage are not to prove, you saved us all countless time and put your life in peril for Camelot and it's people. You are also my closest friend, and your advices had always been proved wiser than those of any council members."

"I…you know I want Arthur, I always had and always will stand beside you."

"Good. So it's done." he exclaimed, clapping his hands.

"B-but what about the magic, you can't…"

"Hush Merlin, I'll need you to help me changing the laws on magic. It won't be done in a few days, perhaps not even in a few months, but I want to get there. I need you to help me make this kingdom a fairer place for all. For the time being, let's give one shock at a time to the council. But in a few weeks, you have my word; you won't have to hide anymore. No one with magic will have to."

Merlin's eyes were burning. He couldn't believe what he just heard. It's been so long he was waiting to hear those words, he worked so hard to get to this, but now that it was happening, he couldn't believe it.

"Why would you change your views on magic? Why would you?" argued Merlin, not believing what was happening.

"One day, a wise man told me it wasn't magic that was evil, it was the person wielding it. It is time to put an end to this circle of hate created by my father."

Merlin was speechless.

"So…do you accept the job?" asked the king after a moment, hoping for a yes, and possibly some reaction from his very still friend. "Will you be my official advisor?"

"It would be an honour." The warlock finally replied, with the widest smile he could manage.

They locked arms and the queen smiled at them. Everything would be all right. They would be all right.

_(Kilgarra's voice) No man, no matter how great, can know his destiny. The Once and Future King and the great Emrys, brought peace and prosperity to the lands of Albion, and the story we have been a part of, is but a fraction of what fathered the legend. Many more years have yet to unfold before the King meets his end. But take heart, for when Albion's need is greatest, The Once and Future King will rise again. _


End file.
